Temporary Mind Fillers

January 2016

I am beginning to feel like I am unwanted

or maybe I don't choose men well.

Ken had to go.

Ham went away.

D only wants sex.

Jo wants to argue from Georgia.

I don't want to be bothered with the guys that give me the time of day.

I just want to do me.

You always treated me like a princess.

I want someone to treat me the same way, but I don't think I will ever find that.

Hiking Harpers Ferry

I will continue being content with myself and the company I offer.

Maybe if I had a healthy hobby, passing time wouldn't be that bad.

Right now, my past times are drinking, TV, and phone.

Nothing healthy- temporary mind fillers.

I keep telling myself I need to go back to Ohio, but I don't feel like I have anything there.

There isn't anyone I really want to go and see.

Just your headstone.

Nana's Headstone

But that would make things real life and I don't feel like I am ready yet.

I don't think I'll ever be ready, but it is a reality I am going to have to face at some point or another.

Maybe for Spring Break, I will go back to Ohio and visit you and Nana.

I just don't think that is something I would be able to do on my own.

But, then again... who would I let make that trip with me?

I guess I could take one of my brothers, but I don't think they would be able to handle.

Same for Darren. He would try, but it wouldn't be soothing.

I know I need to figure it out.

Some flowers would smell nice.

I'll be there soon! I promise.

I love you too!