Sadly, Alone in Public & Private

July 23, 2015

4:32PM

Going to Georgia and being with family was hard.

It's not the same without you.

I was sitting at breakfast and kept looking to the side, like "where are you"?

You should have been there.

I cannot think of a time I did not have my partner.

Things are not the same.

Jazmyne Danielle dancing with Grandaddy.

I didn't think giving your things to close family would be hard on me, but it was. Chris was wearing the slippers I gave you for Christmas 2 years ago along with some other Redskins hats.

I was happy that the items were actually being used rather than being wasted.

Yet again, it's not the same.

Those are your things, and someone else using them is hard for me to see.

I've been trying to keep myself very busy.

Sunset in Orlando, Florida Summer 2015

I've been busy for the last two weeks and my only desire is to lay around and do nothing,

I feel as if I am alone.

No one is holding my hand.

I guess I would rather be alone in my bed than alone in public.

Eyes are watching and judging.

I wear my emotions. People would be able to look through and see that there is pain, emptiness, and sorrow.

Daddy's headstone.

I have had the picture on the head stone changed 3 times.

I feel like I haven't fully accepted.

I am still in denial.

The headstone is feeling like a final piece.

I am not ready yet.

Hope you're having fun!

Love you!