God, I am mad at you.

June 11, 2015

9:14AM

It's been a week since we talked and I don't have much to say.

There is nothing spectacular about life right now.

I still love my car. I don't seem as excited as I see in others when they get their first car on their own.

I know I have people to share it with,but it's not the same.

I want to physically tell you and send you pictures.

I just need to hear one more time, you're proud of me.

That I am making okay decisions.

I still haven't shared with my mom yet.

I know you would tell me do whatever I needed to to sleep peacefully at night.

I have done that and I am still not completely okay.

I act tough, but it is truly bothering me.

As crazy as my mom may be, sometimes I do miss her.

Just like I miss you.

I am dreading summer. For as long as I know, I spent time with you.

I am going to try and fill the void by going to Auntie and Grandaddy's house.

I know it won't be the same.

On the bright side, my brother finally graduated.

He plans to go to NOVA.

My other brother finished his first year of college.

I am coming to the end of my first year of teaching.

It is not fair!

You're not with me to help guide me through.

Who is going to give me a hard time?

Who is going to give me advice?

Who is just going to be there for me and listen?

I sit on my own and cry. I don't want people to see me hurting or upset. That is a side I don't share.

When days get hard, I feel like I need to go to church.

But at the same time, God, I am mad!

Why did you get sent on vacation?

No one was ready!

Lowkey, I don't think that is something you are ever ready for.

I need to try and be more positive.

It was your time for a reason.

Who would be left?

I get it.

I knew there was no way I could stay in Ohio longer than a vacation.

I wanted you out of Dayton and you weren't leaving willingly.

Now with this full time vacation, I hope you are enjoying your time off and all of the sports.

Love you too!

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